A long winter
by Idriveyoucrazybutualwaysreturn
Summary: All she wanted to do was read a book. When she finds out that Cassian has a book collection, she can't resist taking a peek. (Nessian)


Nesta paused in the doorway, glancing in at her sister. Elain was helping the healers with tending Cassian's wounds. It had been the same routine for almost three weeks. Elain helping out where she could and Nesta…she was a seething ball of rage. She had destroyed countless objects through sheer strength alone. A stark reminder of what she was…what she had become. Glancing at Elain told a different story. She was graceful, poised…elegant even. Nesta caught the glimpse of a ring dangling from Elain's neck and she sighed. It couldn't be easy for Elain. Knowing that her fiance and his father would track her down and kill her given the chance. Cassian let out a groan of pain and Nesta stepped into the room and leaned over the couch.

"Your moaning is keeping me awake," she said, staring down at him. Cassian ground his teeth together and looked up at her.

"Is listening to my moans making you have naughty thoughts, sweetheart?" he rasped, leaning up off of the couch. Nesta arched her eyebrow and scoffed.

"Please, you wish that was enough to make me have naughty thoughts," she whispered. Elain let out a string of coughs and put a hand on her chest.

"I'm sorry. I just need a glass of water. Something got caught in my throat," she said, staring over the glass at Nesta. Nesta caught the look and caught the teasing smile on her sister's face. _Like it isn't._ Nesta narrowed her eyes at her sister. Cassian caught the glance between the sisters and smirked. He looked up at Nesta who snarled in response before whirling on her heel and storming out of the room. Cassian fell back against the couch, smirking up at the ceiling.

x-x-x

Rhysand leaned against the doorway. He glanced into the living room and smirked when he noticed Cassian standing in the middle of the room.

"I heard you were up and walking about. Good to see you on your feet," He said, sitting down. He stared at Cassian who rolled his shoulders, wincing when his wing's caught.

"I'm feeling a lot better," he admitted. Rhysand' eyebrow quirked and he nodded.

"So, you'll join us for dinner?" he asked. Cassian nodded and looked at him.

"Have you made contact with Feyre?" he asked. Rhysand nodded and ran a hand through his hair.

"She's handling everything. But, it's killing me to leave her there…how are…" he trailed off and gestured at Cassian's wings. Cassian closed his eyes and glanced back at Rhysand.

"I don't know…they are healing but…" He took a deep breath and glanced at Rhysand. "I don't know if I'll be able to use them again,"

Rhysand face fell and he glanced at the window. Cassian headed towards the dining room. He clapped his hands on Azriel's back.

"Good to see you brother," he said, grinning down at Azriel, glad to see the colour back in his cheeks. Azriel returned his grin and looked at him.

"You too, we were all wondering when you would be up and walking around," he said. Cassian slid into the seat beside Azriel and grinned.

"Better get used to being up and walking around. It's all I can do now anyway," he said, taking a swig of his water and smiling at the table. Azriel and Rhysand shared a look and Cassian rolled his eyes.

"By the cauldron, _that was a joke_ ," he said, glancing at them. Azriel looked at him, his faced filled with guilt. Cassian avoided his eyes and planted his gaze on Nesta.

"Looks like my moaning won't be keeping you awake now," he said. His tone was innocent but Nesta could see the look in his eyes. The glint that made her blood boil. Nesta sneered at him and continued eating. Rhysand gaze drifted to his guests and he smiled.

"Elain, Mor said that you've been helping with the cooking and tending to our invalids. Do you need anything to occupy yourself? Nesta?" he asked. Elain glanced at her plate and bit her lip.

"Well, actually. I'd love to get some supplies for sowing…I could mend your clothes if you all needed it," she said hopefully. Rhysand nodded.

"Of course," he said, turning his gaze on Nesta who glanced at him blankly.

"Nesta loves to read," Elain said, elbowing her sister and glancing at Rhysand. "There are a collection of books in the living room that belong to me. There isn't a lot. Just my favourites. You are more than welcome to read them Nesta Acheron," he said. He scanned Nesta's face for any sign of acknowledgement. Elain elbowed her sister, flushing with embarrassment at her lack of manners.

" _Thank you_ ," she said quickly. Cassian smiled and turned back to Nesta.

"At least someone has manners," he said, glancing at Nesta who scowled, baring her teeth at him. Cassian caught the flash of elongated canines and he raised his eyes to meet hers. She had been so beautiful as a mortal. But now, as Fae…she was incredible. He cleared his throat and averted his eyes from her. He tuned back into the conversation with the others. Rhysand was running a hand through his hair, staring at Amren in exasperation.

"We can't just storm in to get her. It would cause outright war. You just…you need to trust Feyre to protect herself," he said. Amren scowled and shook her head.

"I cannot believe you're leaving her there! We need to get her back!" she said. Rhysand sighed and opened his mouth but Nesta cleared her throat, meeting Amren's gaze.

"You shouldn't worry about my sister. She can take care of herself. She always as. She took care of us when my dad was too pathetic to do it and when I was too bitter to help. She singlehandedly kept our family alive. She survived everything here. _While still a mortal_ ," she said. She stared at Amren, daring her to argue. The rest of the table shared a look. Nesta was worried. That much was clear...and it was hard to see. Nesta picked up her fork and began eating again. She clenched her fist, causing the fork to crumple in her hands. Nesta let out a frustrated hiss, pushing herself away from the table.

"Excuse me," she said, blinking away the tears in her eyes before storming out of the room. Cassian put down his own fork, glancing at her empty seat. Azriel glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes. He in amusement as Cassian tapped his fingers against the table.

"I'll be right back," Cassian said, standing up and leaving the room. Azriel shook his head, glancing at Rhysand to see if he had noticed the vibe Cassian was giving off. But, everyone else seemed completely oblivious.

x-x-x

Nesta sighed, resting her head against the window and staring outside. _Velaris_. That was what Cassian said it was named. She blinked away the tears, grinding her teeth when she heard a knock at the door. Cassian opened the door, stepping inside and leaning against the door frame. Nesta didn't need to turn around to know it was Cassian. She could smell him the moment he entered the room. She shook her head _nothing was the same. Nothing._ Cassian rolled his shoulders, flopping down on Nesta's bed and picking up a cushion.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, staring at Nesta who sighed and continued staring out the window.

"Nesta," he said, sitting up and pulling the cushion with him. She sighed again, turning to face him.

"Go away," she said sharply, giving him a withering glare. Cassian met her eyes and grinned.

"I don't think I will," he said, smirking at her. Nesta shook her head and turned to face him.

"I don't have anything to talk about Cassian," she muttered, running a hand through her hair. Cassian scoffed and held up her fork, which had completely caved in on itself. Nesta glanced at the fork in his hand and let out a frustrated growl, tears springing to her eyes again.

"I hate being Fae. I never wanted to be this! I never wanted any of this. I wish I had died in that Cauldron," she spat. Cassian glanced at her and shook his head.

"You don't mean that," he said pointedly. Nesta scoffed and arched her eyebrows, her mouth set in a thin line. The set of her jaw let Cassian know that she thought he knew nothing about her.

"You don't. You are a fighter Nesta Acheron. Being Fae only makes you more powerful and I know that I am going to watch in delight as you rip Hybern limb from limb. So what if you break a few forks? Just think what you'll be able to do when we train you," he said. Nesta laughed sarcastically and glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes.

"Your body is a weapon. _I could teach you a thing or two on how to use your body in your advantage._ " he said, standing up. He paused, running his hand through his hair in frustration. _He could teach her how to use her strength. To protect herself._ Nesta stepped towards him, looking up at him from under her eyelashes.

"I _know_ how to use my body as my weapon Cassian," she said, placing her hand on his chest. Cassian closed his eyes, trying to ignore the feeling of her hand on him. He ran his tongue over his lower lip and stared at her, his eyes hooded.

"Oh, I remember quite well. My balls would rather not relive that experience," he said, side stepping her. Nesta pursed her lips.

"You ruin _all_ my fun," she purred. Cassian laughed and shook his head.

"My books are in the small cabinet if you need them," he said, before exiting the room. He closed his eyes when he was out of the room and exhaled heavily. He couldn't wait to show her just _how_ much fun they could have if she would _stop_ threatening his balls...

x-x-x

Nesta paused against her door, pressing her ear against it as she listened for any sign of movement. She opened the door slowly, making her way into the hallway. She glanced towards the other bedrooms before tiptoeing into the living room. She scanned the room for the small cabinet that Cassian had mentioned and grinned when she spotted it. She crouched down in front of the books, pulling out a pile and scanning the blurbs. She was desperate to take the lot of them back to her room. To devour them. But, she didn't want Cassian to know she had been in the room. She sighed heavily, picking one and putting the others back. She stood up, opening the book and beginning to read as she walked back to her room. Nesta flopped down on her bed, pulling her cushion against her. She breathed in, pulling the cushion against her. It smelled _so_ good. She took in another deep breath and her eyes sprang open. _Cassian. It smelled like Cassian_. She cleared her throat, continuing with the book. She could feel her facial expressions reacting to every twist and turn. She let out a huff of indignation at the character. He was so cocky...and he _didn't_ remind her of anyone. Not even a little. Nesta rolled onto her back, pulling the cushion with her as she continued with the book. She let out a squeak of surprise, turning the book back a few pages to see if she had missed something. One minute the characters were fighting the next they were... Not fighting. She cleared her throat and glanced down at the book. It was an erotic novel. _Cassian read erotic novels._ Nesta closed the book and flopped back on the bed. She _couldn't_ read it. She just couldn't.

Two hours later Nesta had eventually finished the book and it was _good._ But, all she could think about was the fact that _Cassian_ read it. She put the book down and rolled over in her bed.

x-x-x

Nesta let out a frustrated sigh, pulling her hair from her face and trying to tie it back. The hair tie just _wouldn't_ cooperate. She growled throwing the hair tie down and storming into the hallway. It was all Cassian's fault anyway. Why did he have to read erotic books and WHY did he have to lie all over her bed. Nesta flopped down in a chair next to Elain. Elain smiled, glancing at her sister.

"You look grumpier than usual," she teased. Nesta bared her teeth and Elain laughed, pushing her hair behind her ears. Nesta picked at a bit of fabric on her dress.

"Cassian didn't come back to dinner last night," Elain commented. She turned to face Nesta and smiled when Nesta's hand's froze on her dress. She didn't bother saying anything. Elain sighed and looked at her sister.

"You could try and be a little bit more grateful for everything they are doing for us, you know," she commented. "Especially Cassian. Not everyone would have chased after you, you know,"

Nesta rolled her eyes and stood up.

"I didn't ask them to do any of this! I didn't ask for his concern!" she snapped. Elain pursed her lips and glanced at her sister.

"You may not have asked for his concern but you like having it, don't you?" she asked. Nesta ground her teeth together and shook her head.

"I'm not listening to this," she said, storming back into the house.

x-x-x

Nesta sighed, running a hand through her hair as she opened her room door. She couldn't stop playing it over in her head. It was _ridiculous_. For Elain to even _imply._ She shook her head, walking into the hallway to swap the book over. She collided with a firm chest letting out an 'oomph,' . She raised her eyes and found Cassian staring down at her in amusement.

"Don't you watch where you're going?" she hissed. Cassian glanced down at her and smiled.

"A book of mine is missing. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?" he asked, running his eyes over her. Nesta scoffed and shook her head.

"Why would I want one of your books?" she asked, trying to sidestep him. Cassian smirked, caging her between his arms. His smirk widened when he realised that his scent was lingering on her, mingling with her own.

"Well it _was_ a long winter for you," he said. Nesta's face flushed and Cassian let out a triumphant laugh.

"I knew you had taken it!" he said smugly. "What was your favourite part?" his breath was barely a whisper against her neck. She took a deep breath, a shaky one at that.

"My favourite part is when she takes charge," he murmured, his lips grazing her neck. Nesta furrowed her eyebrows and let out a whimper when his mouth grazed her pressure point. Nesta moved her knee and Cassian's hand moved quickly, holding it in place.

"Not this time sweetheart," he whispered, pulling her leg over his hip. Nesta lifted her other leg, wrapping it around his waist. Her eyes widened when she felt him against her and she stared at him. They were both breathing heavily, staring into each others eyes. Cassian licked his lower lip, bringing one of his hands up to tangle in her hair. He pulled her against him, pressing his mouth against hers. Nesta reacted immediately, gripping his hair as her mouth moved against his. Cassian groaned against her mouth, rocking his hips against hers. Nesta pulled back, staring into his eyes. She smirked when she saw how hooded his eyes had become. She brought her mouth back against his, letting out a gasp of surprise when Cassian nipped at her lips. Cassian used this opportunity to deepen the kiss. He let out a small moan. She tasted like citrus and _he loved citrus._ Nesta ran her hands down his chest, craving the way his body felt against hers. She couldn't help but wonder how she had denied herself for so long. His touch was like fire. She couldn't help but notice that his hands had barely wandered. Almost as if he was scared she was going to pull herself from his grip. She rocked her hips against his, letting out a his with the friction it caused. Cassian pulled back, murmuring her name between kisses. _Nesta, Nesta, Nesta._ The sound of his voice set her insides alight. She rocked herself against him again, clutching at his shoulders. The pair broke apart when they heard a loud crash. Their heads whipped up the hall and they saw Azriel sheepishly picking up the fallen table stand. Cassian bared his teeth at Azriel and dropped Nesta's legs. The minute her feet touched the ground she shoved him. _Hard._ Cassian stumbled back, scowling when he saw her slam her door shut. He rested his head against the door and exhaled heavily. His chest was heaving and if he focussed enough her could hear Nesta's breathing was doing the same. He shuffled his trousers, letting out a hiss and letting his head thud against the door. _Fuck._


End file.
